Leaving home… permanently.

I’m going to call Guam my very comfortable bubble. Before 22, I was raised with the mind of an islander, but of course being an islander, this was something I did not notice. So for my 22 year old self, I thought I knew everything I needed to know about the world and that Guam had it all. I can say to some extent, Guam does have it all. It’s all thanks to my husband, who has opened my eyes, and made me see the paradise I was so lucky to live in.

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Beaches just a short drive away, the hot sun always blessing my skin with a tan, and family and friends who were always there for me. I was always lucky because I grew up with my friends, and even now as adults, we’re still very close. I try to go back home every few years, just so I can still stay in touch with my roots and never forget who you are, and where you come from.

I still can’t believe I left home, permanently, almost 7 years ago! In such a small time span, I feel like I have lived different versions of my life. An island girl moving to Las Vegas to live in the dessert, and then moving Michigan, the state of snow and below freezing temperatures.

Where am I getting heading with this post? To be honest, when I first left Guam, at 22, I did not feel a bellyache of homesickness. I was actually happy to be leaving Guam. I think I had a hunger that I actually fed on — something, which I have noticed, people are afraid to do. So when I hear people leaving the comforts of their own zones, it excites me. I ask them to ‘Tell me more…’ and my soul lights up because I feed off of their stories.

I had friends from Guam who lived in Las Vegas. They knew of homesickness like it was living in their backyards. I couldn’t sympathize with them. I couldn’t tell them ‘I agree. I feel homesick too,’. I took my life on Guam, and brought it with me. Since that time of leaving my comfort zone, I have had no regrets. Maybe I was one of the few lucky ones that didn’t get to experience the pain of being homesick.

Don’t get me wrong here- I didn’t escape a life of abuse or loneliness on Guam. I did not escape problems for a ‘better life’ in the mainland (US). I left Guam for myself, for opportunities that Guam was not able to offer me at that time. My father was great and supportive, I had friends all over the island, I had a great job that recently promoted me to a managerial position, and I was doing well in college. For some odd reason, my hunger was still eating away parts who I was, and I felt that leaving what I had known for so long was the only answer.

That was it. I needed something new, something different. Homesickness was not even an option at that time because my appetite had no room for it. That was when I knew it was okay. Its okay.

Do you have a story to tell me?

 

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